Lost Without You
by Woemcat's Mature Stories
Summary: This takes place twenty years after The Indiscretion. Drew and Elizabeth's firstborn is all grown up and has a baby of her own. However, it's not all joyful. Warning: character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Without You**

* * *

 **Twenty Years Later**

 _As the years went by, Drew and Elizabeth's romance continued to be kindled, growing from a family of three to a family of six. Four years after Bethany Joy's birth, they added Barbara Ellen. Six years after that, Drew Maxwell (DJ) was born, and two years after that, Stephen Charles completed their family._

 _They raised their kids on the mountain, where John and Olivia had planned to build a house, shortly after they married. After Bethany's birth, Drew and Elizabeth traveled throughout the United States, and managed to go to West Germany on a mission from the Red Cross once. Once Barbara was born, they were content to settle on her childhood land._

 _Bethany inherited her parents' love of travel and met her husband, Michael Evans, during a six week trip to England after her high school graduation. The family was surprised when she and Michael came back and announced their engagement. He proposed to her at the altar of St. Paul's Cathedral in London their last day of the trip. They married on her nineteenth birthday, and the following autumn, just as the first leaves began to turn, they announced they were expecting their first child in early March._

 _The pregnancy was uneventful, until Influenza struck the Cutler-Evans household in January. Michael and Bethany moved to the Walton's place when DJ first came down with the flu, but a week after DJ became sick, Bethany got sick, and was hospitalised. At the beginning of February, on a snowy evening, Bethany went into labour._

* * *

Bethany Joy Cutler-Evans watches her mother as she cradles the newborn infant in her arms. Mary-Ellen takes her niece's vitals and frowns. Elizabeth notices.

"Mom," the new mother exclaims, her breathing laboured, "I can't believe you did this four times and Grandma Walton did this eight times!"

"You forget about the pain."

"Not me. I'm one and done," she sighs, "Just like Grandma Cutler."

"If she's your only one, that's okay. I think Stephanie's going to be your Aunt Joy's only." Elizabeth tries to hide her tears.

"Mom," Bethany begins, sensing her mother's sadness, "Can you ask Michael to come in? We've got to figure out what to name her."

"I will. Here's your daughter." Elizabeth places the baby back into her mother's arms and walks into the waiting room. "Michael? She's asking for you."

He nods and goes to her hospital room.

"How is she?" Drew asks his wife.

"Not good, but she's trying to stay strong."

John and Olivia sit on the nearby chairs and comfort each other.

"What did Mary-Ellen say?" Olivia asks.

"She really hasn't said much."

"Mom," Barbara begins, "Is Bethany going to die?"

"She can't die!" Drew Junior (DJ) retorts. "She just had a baby!"

"Please tell us she's not gonna die!" Stephen pleads.

"We don't know what's going to happen," Drew states. "All we know is your sister is very sick."

"Is it because she had the influ... influ...?" Stephen asks.

"Influenza," Barbara corrects, "and Aunt Mary-Ellen said it can be hard on Bethany and the baby."

"Mom," DJ repeats, "Is she gonna die?"

"We pray not, son."

"Elizabeth," Mary-Ellen calls, sticking her head out the door, "she's wanting you, Drew and mom and dad."

Elizabeth nods. Drew puts his arm around his wife. John does the same, and the four accompany Mary-Ellen into the room.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Bethany's room:**

Michael enters the room and sees his wife cradling their newborn daughter. He is shocked to see how pale his wife is!

"Come over here and meet your daughter!"

"Beth," he sits by her side, "she's beautiful. Just like her mother."

"She is. I can't believe we made this little girl!"

"We did." Michael smiles. "So, what do we want to name our little girl?"

"We thought about Susan, but I don't think she looks like a Susan."

He frowns. "How about Sandra?"

"No. Brenda?"

"Lisa?"

"Mmmmm, no." Bethany studies her daughter. "I want her middle name to be Elizabeth. I want to name her after my mom."

Michael thinks and smiles. "I've got it. Karen. What do you think? Karen Elizabeth Evans."

"I like it!" Bethany coughs, gasping for breath.

"Bethany?" He looks concerned.

Her coughing subsides and she takes a few deep breaths. "I... I like it." She inhales. "Karen Elizabeth..." She exhales. "Evans." A couple tears roll down her cheeks. "Hello, Karen. I'm your... your... your mother."

"Why don't you get some rest?" Mary-Ellen suggests.

"No. I want to hold my baby right now. I can rest later." She continues to look at her daughter. "Can you have Mama, Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa come in?"

"You sure?" Michael asks.

"Yes," she replies, trying to suppress a cough. "I want them to meet our baby girl."

"All right," Mary-Ellen states, "I'll go get them... But they can only stay for a short while. You need your rest."

Mary-Ellen brings Elizabeth and Drew, and John and Olivia into the room. Bethany beams, baby still in her arms.

"Bethany," Olivia begins, "she's beautiful. She looks a lot like you did as a baby."

"Aww, Grandma!" the new mother blushes.

"You done real good, kid," John smiles, tears just behind his eyes.

"Thanks."

Drew tries to blink back tears, but is unsuccessful.

"Aww, Daddy!"

"My little girl," he sniffs, "all grown up with a baby of her own now. You look just like your Mama did when she gave birth to you."

"Wanna..." she coughs. "Wanna hold her?"

"Sure." Michael lifts the baby from Bethany's arms and places her into Drew's.

"Hi, Punkin'! I'm your Grandpa!" The baby opens her eyes. "Look at your bright eyes! You look just like your Mama did when she was born!"

"Mary-Ellen?" Elizabeth nods, motioning for her to talk with her privately. "Mama?"

"We'll be right back," Mary-Ellen announces, accompanying Elizabeth and Olivia out of the room.

The three women walk back into the waiting room. The other kids stop them.

"How's Bethany?" Barbara asks.

"We'll talk later," Elizabeth replies, as the three make their way to an empty room. She shuts the door behind them. "Mary-Ellen, how's Bethany?"

"It doesn't look good."

Elizabeth inhales. Olivia is in shock.

"Wha... wha... what do you mean?" Elizabeth stammers.

"The combination of pregnancy and Influenza put a strain on her heart."

Elizabeth begins to cry. Olivia enfolds her in an embrace. "How... how long does she have?" the blonde asks.

"I don't know. If she pulls out of this, her heart may be severely weakened."

Someone knocks on the door. Mary-Ellen looks at her mother and sister. Elizabeth nods. The brunette opens the door, revealing a nurse. "Yes?"

"You're needed in Bethany Evans' room."

Mary-Ellen follows the nurse out of the room.

"Oh, Mama!" Elizabeth cries into her mother's arms. "I'm gonna lose my baby girl! Mama, I can't lose her!"

"We don't know that. Maybe she'll pull through."

* * *

 **Meanwhile, in Bethany's room:**

 _John and Drew left the room soonafter their wives did, to allow Bethany and Michael time alone with their new daughter._

"Michael," she begins, as she gazes into her daughter's eyes. "Make sure you raise her on Walton's Mountain."

"I will," he replies, sitting on the side of the bed, "but you're going to raise her with me."

"I'm serious." She begins coughing, gasping for air. Her chest feels so heavy! It's hard to breathe. "I don't think I'm going to be here much longer."

"Don't say that." He takes her hand, kissing it.

"I'm going to miss our little girl." A tear escapes her eye. "I wanna see her grow up so badly! I wanna see her take her first steps, say her first words, go to school, get married, and have her own child..."

"Don't rush her," he chuckles.

Suddenly, her eyes grow wide and she begins wheezing. "Mi... Mi!" She gasps for air. Michael, trying not to panic, rushes to the door. "Nurse! Someone help my wife!" He sees his in-laws, panicking.

"Daddy?" Stephen utters, as he sees two nurses rush in.

A few moments later, one nurse rushes out, and then returns to the room, followed by Mary-Ellen. Elizabeth and Olivia join the family in the waiting room.

"What happened?" Olivia meets her husband's eyes, worried.

"We don't know. Michael called out for a nurse and then we see Mary-Ellen dash into the room. No one has told us anything."

Drew and Elizabeth embrace. Barbara hugs her younger brothers.

* * *

 **In Bethany's hospital room:**

Mary-Ellen dashes into the room and studies the scene before her. "Kathy, get the baby!" She takes her niece's vitals. Michael, wide-eyed, holds his wife's hand. "Breathe, Beth! C'mon! Breathe! Michael, you don't have to leave the room, but we need to work here." He steps back and takes the child from the nurse.

Bethany struggles to breathe. She feels no pain as her pulse steadily drops. _Is this it? Am I leaving? I feel strange!_ She barely sees her husband cradling their daughter. A tear rolls down his cheek. _I don't want to leave them. How do I go back to them?_ She feels her eyes close and she exhales...

Everything is quiet.

* * *

 _-End of Chapter 1-_


	2. Chapter 2

_-Chapter 2-_

* * *

Mary-Ellen's face falls in defeat. Her niece is dead.

"Mary-Ellen?"

"She's gone."

Michael sits on the side of his wife's bed and places their baby on her chest. Tears roll down his cheeks and splash onto Bethany's cheek. He memorizes her face, smooths her hair back, and holds her left hand. Words escape him! A few hours ago, they welcomed their baby daughter into the world, making them a family of three. Now, it's just him and their daughter. He can't imagine what life is going to be like without her.

Karen stirs and begins crying. One of the nurses hesitantly approaches Drew. "The baby is hungry. Would you like for me to feed her?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I'll feed her. Will you bring in a bottle for me?"

She nods and departs the room. Mary-Ellen feels her heart break, as she watches the scene in front of her.

"I can't believe it, Beth," he sobs. "Why did you have to get sick? How are we supposed to go on without you? I can't raise Karen by myself. She needs her mother."

Tentatively, Mary-Ellen approaches her brother-in-law. "Do you want me to tell the family?"

He nods. "I want some time alone with her... Just the three of us."

She nods as she opens the door and steps out into the waiting room.

* * *

The family hears the doorknob turn, and rises as Mary-Ellen walks toward them. Elizabeth feels a lump grow in her throat; she's afraid of what her sister is going to say. "Bethany?" she chokes.

Mary-Ellen shakes her head, somberly.

"NO!" she screams, knees buckling beneath her. Drew lowers her into a seated position on the floor and enfolds her into an embrace.

"Oh no!" Olivia mouths, burying her head into her husband's arms.

"My sister's dead?!" DJ shouts.

"I'm sorry. She didn't make it."

DJ darts out of the waiting room and out the hospital doors.

"DJ!" Drew calls.

Barbara holds Stephen, as they cry.

"I'll see after him," John declares, releasing his wife.

"I wanna see my baby."

"Michael wants a few minutes with her alone."

"What about the baby?" Drew asks.

"Michael has her."

"Mama?"

"Yes, Stephen?"

He sits by his mother, laying his head on her shoulder. "Is my sister with Jesus?"

"She is," Elizabeth gulps, still not believing her daughter is dead.

They see a nurse carrying a bottle, go into the room.

Mary-Ellen hugs her mother and then her sister.

"I'd better start calling the family to let them know..." Olivia starts, catching her breath, "Karen's here and... Bethany's gone."

Out of the corner of his eye, Drew sees his parents approaching. He walks toward them.

"What's wrong?" Dana Cutler starts. "Is it the baby?"

"No, the baby's fine. She's a little small, but Mary-Ellen says she's healthy."

"Bethany?" She sees tears well in her son's eyes.

"She's gone."

"Oh, my baby boy!" She holds her son.

They startle as the door to Bethany's room opens. "Mom, Dad, you can come in," Michael states, holding baby Karen.

* * *

 **Meanwhile, at the hospital's front entrance**

John coaxes DJ back inside and they find a couple chairs off to the side, where no one will disturb them.

"It's all my fault," DJ exclaims.

"How do you say that?"

"If I hadn't gotten the flu, then Bethany wouldn't have gotten sick. If she hadn't gotten sick, then she'd still be here."

"Son, I didn't think you thought so highly of yourself."

DJ scrunches up his face, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Like I said, I didn't think you thought so highly of yourself."

"I don't think 'so highly of myself,'" he protests, "I don't like myself so much right now."

"What I mean, is that you're equating yourself with God. You're not that powerful."

"What?"

"You're not that powerful. You can't make yourself or anyone else get the flu."

"I still feel like it's my fault."

John looks his grandson straight in the eyes. "Did you mean to give your sister the flu?"

"No."

"Did you make your sister get the flu?"

"No."

"Did you try your best not to let anyone else get the flu?"

"Yes. Umm, no. Umm, I mean yes." The boy scrunches up his nose.

"Then, it's not your fault."

"It still feels like it," he sighs, crying into his grandfather's embrace.

* * *

Drew and Elizabeth walk into their eldest daughter's room. Mary-Ellen and a nurse have cleaned Bethany's body.

Elizabeth sits in a chair beside her eldest daughter. She leans over and kisses her cheek. "Oh, my baby girl!" she sniffs. "You were such a surprise when we found out you were coming. You and your sister and brothers are the best things that has ever happened to me!"

"And me too." Drew approaches his daughter's bedside, standing behind his wife.

"You were born on a cold day, almost like this one. I tried to have you at Mama and Daddy's house, but you were breech. Your Aunt Mary-Ellen and Dr. Spencer delivered you by C-section. I wanted to name you Elizabeth Joy. When Mama was expecting your Aunt Joy and we thought she'd lost her, I said I would name my little girl Joy. Your Daddy wanted to name her after me. So, we were going to name you Elizabeth Joy. We didn't know what to call you, because we thought having two people going by Elizabeth would be confusing. Your Grandpa suggested Bethany, so we decided to name you Bethany, which is sorta after me."

"You looked so much like your Mama, with your flaming red hair. You looked like your Mama more and more each day. You took after your Mama with your plucky personality and love of traveling too."

Mary-Ellen silently offers her brother-in-law a chair and he sits beside his wife. She offers Michael one as well, but he shakes his head, preferring to give his in-laws space with their daughter.

"We were so surprised when you brought Michael home to meet us for the first time, announcing your engagement." Elizabeth chuckles. "We shouldn't have been surprised, because your father and I did the same thing... in a way."

Mary-Ellen suppresses a light chuckle.

"You were such a beautiful bride," Drew starts. "I was so proud to escort you down the aisle. Michael's a good man, and he's taken such good care of you, and he'll take good care of Karen too."

Michael holds the baby close and weeps.

"Twenty years seems like a long time when you're little, but it's not very long at all." Elizabeth laments.

Someone knocks quietly on the door. Mary-Ellen answers. "I'll check," she whispers. "Is it okay if the family sees her?"

Michael, Drew and Elizabeth nod.

John, Olivia, Charles and Dana escort the children into the room. DJ stays close to his Grandpa Walton's side.

"Bethany looks like she's asleep," Stephen comments, approaching his sister's bedside. "She's not gonna wake up, is she?"

"No," Mary-Ellen replies softly, hand on his right forearm.

"Why'd she hafta die?" he asks.

"It's because of me!" DJ shouts, crying. "It's my fault!"

"DJ," Elizabeth attempts to soothe her eldest son.

"It is! I gave her the flu! I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it is my fault, and I'll never forgive myself!" He runs out of the room.

"DJ?" Olivia starts.

"Leave him be," John states, "He's hurtin'."

Barbara silently looks at her sister. She feels a tear roll down her cheek. Carla notices, and wraps her arms around her granddaughter. "Grandma."

Mary-Ellen steps out of the room for awhile, and then re-enters. "Michael," she speaks, softly, "it's time."

He nods, holding Baby Karen close. "Mom, Dad," he speaks, in a low voice, approaching his in-laws, "It's time."

John and Olivia, Charles and Dana quietly escort the grandkids out of the room. The coroners start to enter the room.

"Give us a minute, please?" Michael requests.

Mary-Ellen nods, and stands a respectful distance away.

"Beth," Michael begins, "I'll take good care of our baby girl. I love you so much!" He kisses her gently on her cheek, and notices she's turning cold.

"Sweetheart," Elizabeth begins, "you made me and your father parents. It was love at first sight when I first held you in my arms. I don't know how to let you go! I love you."

Drew kisses his daughter on the top of her head. "I love you."

Michael nods, allowing the coroners into the room. They pull the sheet over her head and transfer her to the gurney. Drew, Elizabeth, Michael and Mary-Ellen watch, somberly, as Bethany is rolled out of the room.

* * *

- _End of Chapter 2-_


	3. Chapter 3

_-Chapter 3-_

* * *

 _The funeral felt like a blur to the Walton, Cutler, and Evans families. Michael's family arrived from London the day before the funeral. Rain showered Walton's Mountain during the funeral; it was like Heaven was crying too. The preacher read Bethany's favourite scripture: Psalm 121._

"I lift up my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you- the LORD is your shade at your right hand;the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

Jason premiers a song he wrote for his niece. "She's a bird song high up in the hickories. She's a river running on to the silver sea. She's a starlight on a summer evening. A little rose, my Bethany, she's a rose..."

Then, John-Boy reads a poem about mountains, "...The air is clear, crisp, fresh and easy to breath. Here, in this place, I feel I have all that I need. There is a feeling of tranquility around me and inside of me. The presence of God seems to surround me..."

The congregation sings Grandpa Walton's favourite hymn: _Beulah Land!_ "O Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land, As on thy highest mount I stand, I look away across the sea, Where mansions are prepared for me, And view the shining glory shore, My heav'n, my home forevermore!"

The minister closes with a prayer. Michael takes the shovel, and places the first scoop of dirt over the site. Drew and Elizabeth follow suit, as do each of the grandparents. Then the extended family gives Michael, Baby Karen, Drew, Elizabeth, and Bethany's siblings some space. Words escape them. After a long silence, Michael speaks. "I can't believe she's gone!"

Mrs. Evans approaches her son. "My baby boy!"

"Mama!" He cries into his mother's arms. "I can't leave her!"

"Son," she replies, arm around his shoulders, "she'll always be with you. You've got Karen, who is a part of you and her."  
"Uh huh."

"I know it's not the same." She hesitates. "You know, you and Karen can always come home. Your father, sister and I can help you with the baby."

"My home is here... with her."

"Just think about it."

Drew and Elizabeth remain in earshot. "They can't take her away from us!" Elizabeth cries into her husband's arms. "They just can't! We'll never see them if they go."

"We don't know if they're going to London. And if they do..."

"They just can't!" she interrupts. He places his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eye. "And if they do, we will go visit."

"Promise?"

"I promise. We've got money saved up and we can take the whole family to London to visit."

"Thank you!" She weeps into his arms.

Barbara, DJ and Stephen watch the scene before them. DJ, still wracked with guilt, tries to fight off the urge to run. Barbara notices, wordlessly enfolding her brother in an embrace.

* * *

 _Weeks pass, and soon it's time for Michael's family to return to London. Although Drew tries to reassure Elizabeth, that they will see Baby Karen again, Elizabeth has a nagging feeling Michael and Karen will be leaving with his family._

"Mum," Michael states, as she kisses her granddaughter, "thank you for everything. I'm so glad you and dad could stay for awhile."

"I'm sorry your sister had to go back early."

"She couldn't miss her exams."

"Are you sure you won't come back with us? Your room is exactly as you left it and we can fix the spare room into a nursery for Karen."

"My home is here now. This mountain is very important..." he regroups, "...was important to Bethany, and it is important to me that Karen grow up here."

"But..."

"Mum, we will come and visit this summer, and I'll make sure she knows my side of the family."

"Bea," Mr. Evans begins, looking at his watch, "we need to get to the train station. We don't want to miss our train."

"No," she sighs, looking at her granddaughter, "we don't."

"Son, I've loaded the bags into the car."

"Thanks."

The three walk to the car, Karen still in her grandmother's arms. They drive to the station. There, Drew, Elizabeth and the kids, and John and Olivia are there to help send them off. Elizabeth still feels nervous; afraid her son-in-law and granddaughter will be leaving as well.

Beatrice Evans embraces Elizabeth, "Take care of my son and our baby girl."

She sighs with relief, but tries to hide it.

"It's okay," Beatrice reassures, "I would've been worried they would be leaving had things been reversed."

"Please come back soon. You're always welcome here at Walton's Mountain."

"We'd like that."

"All aboard!" the conductor shouts.

"We've gotta go," Mr. Evans states. "We'll see you this summer, son." He kisses Baby Karen's head, "You too, kiddo!" He shakes Drew's hand, "Thanks for everything."

Beatrice and Elizabeth embrace, "Take care!"

"You too and safe travels."

Beatrice places Karen in her son's arms. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mum. We'll see you soon. I'm thinking we'll come end of June, early July and stay through the end of August, beginning of September."

"I'll have the rooms ready for you."

"Thanks."

"All aboard!" the conductor shouts again. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards make their goodbyes once more, board their car, and the train pulls out of the station.

"Mom," Michael begins, as they watch the train roll out of sight, "Bethany and I talked, and we decided that we want the baby to grow up here on Walton's Mountain. I know you were afraid I'd take her back to London, and part of me wants to, but it's important to me, more now than ever, that she stays close to her mother however she can."

"I was hoping you two would stay, but I didn't want to say anything to you."

"We will go to London as much as we can."

"I wouldn't expect anything less, and we would be willing to visit London if you ever decide to move back there."

* * *

 _That night, Michael rocks his daughter in the nursery. The house feels so quiet. It hasn't been this quiet since before his daughter was born... and his wife died. He and Bethany moved from their house into her parents' house right after Christmas, so she could be closer to her mother when the baby would be born._

"Karen," he begins, "it's just you and me now. You think your 'Old Man' can raise you properly?"

The baby opens her eyes and looks at her father.

He grins, "You're so cute. You look just like your mother. Your Grandma Cutler says you look just like your mother did when she was born."

Karen closes her eyes and relaxes in her father's arms.

"I should tell you how I met your mother." He smiles, looking at his daughter. "I saw her when I was getting some lunch at a little cafe, just outside St. Paul's Cathedral. I finished up my sandwich and saw the most amazing girl with the prettiest long red hair and porcelain skin I have ever seen. I paid my bill, left the cafe, and just about had to run to catch up to her, so I could introduce myself."

He laughs, envisioning the first time he saw his wife.

"She was taken aback at how forward I was, but she gave me a chance. I took her to all my favourite places in London: Trafalgar Square, Big Ben, The Thames River, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, and the Houses of Parliament. No, I didn't take her to all those places in one day, but I did take her to Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace that first day. For me, it was love at first sight. For her, it was a little bit longer. After our third date, I took her to meet Mum, Dad, and Margaret. Your Aunt Margaret took an immediate liking to her. She always wanted a sister and they hit it off immediately. Mum and Dad liked her too. That night, I decided that I was going to make your mother my wife. I wanted to make the proposal something special, so I decided I'd propose to her at the same spot we met..."

He notices that his daughter is fast asleep. Carefully, he rises and places her in her bassinet. "That story will be for another night." He kisses the top of her head.

"Sleep well." He leaves the room, leaving the door slightly ajar, so he can hear her if she wakes.

* * *

 _-The End-_

 _A/N—I just wanted this to be a short story. The song I attributed to Jason is actually a song called Virginia Rose. I know some people don't like this type of story, and that's fine. It was just something in my head that I wanted to get down onto the site. Thanks, all, for reading and reviewing!_


End file.
